Dear lord his face.
Okay I need to see this movie like yesterday.
As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive - constantly - as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.
By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.
Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.
Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.
There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.
On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes."
I had no idea you all liked this so much. I’m humbled. Thank you.
I love this post so much
my hand slipped
with their new hit song, “Randomly Searching 4 U”
I am re-reblogging just because that was so good
I think this one’s an Always Reblog, because the picture, the illustration, and the song title are just too damn perfect together.
I really like their B-sides, “Pat Down My Heart” and “Does This Bag Contain Love?”
#I WONDER WHAT SAM THINKS #LIKE HE WAS THERE WHEN DEAN ALWAYS HAD A DRINK IN HIS HAND #BUT NOW IT’S NOT ALCOHOL ANYMORE #IT’S COFFEE #AND IT’S NOT IN A DISPOSABLE CUP #IT’S IN A REAL CUP #MAYBE THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE A HOME #TO BELONG SOMEPLACE #-I HAVE TO ADMIT I DON’T REMEMBER IF THEY’RE IN THE BATCAVE IN THE SECOND GIF BUT STILL SEE HOW FAR THEY’VE COME
jesus christ those tags
I hadn’t even realised. that’s why we keep seeing Dean drinking coffee. they’re showing us he’s getting over his drinking problem.
oh my god he’s getting better. he’s healing.
he has a home and he’s healing.
also just realised why we keep seeing him in the robe
look he doesn’t sleep fully dressed any more!
after hell and especially since purgatory Dean would sleep in his shirts and jeans and jacket, either for security or for convenience, but now he feels safe enough and settled enough not to
oh god I just can’t
The realization Dean doesn’t sleep fully clothed anymore. That is so huge. Like seriously. He hates himself less, he drinks coffee, sleeps in a t-shirt and boxers, likes nice suits, is proud of being a legacy because he’s a genius, not a grunt, can cook and trusts Cas with Sam. Gah. Character development. -cries-
#can we talk about the look on Sam’s face #the internal litany he must have offered up to Cas each night #Cas, man, can he didn’t touch the brandy at all today #Cas, he cooked again tonight #Cas, when you get back here you are gonna have to have one of his burgers #Cas, it’s been days since he had a drink #I even checked his room while he was out on an errand #he doesn’t have any stashed there #Cas, you have to see this #please Cas #please Cas I want you to see how he’s grown
impressive! Like a lot of guys I’ve been able to cum - no hands - when I’m doing pull ups or other really strenuous exercises. I mean there’s a reason why I wouldn’t climb a rope in high school gym class! But in this video the guy cums without any visible reason or explanation.
This is so hot to me, I can’t even really explain why.
Anonymous said: Why do you think 50sog is so popular?
I think part of it is the phenomenon Ana Mardoll discusses here (she’s talking about Twilight, but it’s the same deal): it’s about the fantasy of a man who’s obsessed with a woman who captivates his interest, and if that interest is abusive… well, it’s better than abusive disinterest, and sometimes it feels like those are your only two options.
I think another part of it is just that it’s socially acceptable smut. There’s lots of better erotica out there, but not a lot that you can read on the bus or cheerily discuss with your coworkers. Once FSoG started to be a pop culture phenomenon, it became a great outlet for people who wouldn’t normally feel comfortable reading erotica.
It also coasted somewhat on the Twilight trend, as it is literally Twilight fanfiction.
Also, I think a lot of people don’t read the miserable parts very closely, and just skip to the sex scenes. At least that’s what I hope they’re doing.
I once found a book that had 3 different Kindle versions, including one with just the smut scenes and the barest minimum of logical connective tissue, and one that had a table of contents that let you click ahead to the sex scene of your choice. It seemed refreshingly, frankly honest about what it was offering readers and making that wonderfully convenient (then again, the writing & characterization was also far better than 50SOG).
Also, most of the series is filtered through Ana Steele’s rose-colored glasses. Despite Hellspawn—sorry, Christian Grey—being a creepy, controlling, physically and emotionally abusive stalker who doesn’t give a shit about consent issues and who uses BDSM as an excuse to hit women, Ana sells herself on the idea that he’s a playful, sweet but emotionally damaged little boy in a man’s body who just needs to be loved in order to heal. Hellspawn never changes for the better; in fact, he only becomes worse as the series goes on. However, Ana becomes more and more delusional as the series continues as well, insisting that he is becoming sweeter and gentler and more loving.
Now, if I have to choose between what a character says and what I see the character doing, I will believe what I’m shown any day of the week. But many readers don’t do that. Instead, they implicitly believe what the characters say.
The fans of the Fifty Shades trilogy are aided and abetted in this by the book’s genre. It’s sold as erotic romance. By definition, the two leads are supposed to be in love, even if Hellspawn’s behavior is not loving. If the book had been billed as a psychological thriller—and honestly, it would not be hard to reconstruct the series with Hellspawn as a serial killer—I doubt that we’d be having this discussion.
Hellspawn is also billed as an “alpha male”—a very popular type in romance. Harlequin/Mills & Boon boasts that ALL of their male leads are alpha males. (Exactly why it hasn’t occurred to them that some people might find kind, considerate guys more appealing than brooding, arrogant, condescending, obsessed jerkasses is beyond me.)
As you can tell, I am not a fan of fictional alpha males. They bore me. But they are the type that romance publishers tend to stress. If women read a lot of books involving alpha males, that’s largely because there’s little alternative. The audience for romance and erotica knows that Hellspawn is a familiar type, and will therefore accept him as a suitable lover for the female lead.
Also, the women to whom I’ve spoken about this series were not familiar with the internet, fan fiction, or even the concept of women writing porn. They were genuinely astonished to hear that stories and books about sex—both amateur and professional—had been written by women BEFORE E.L. James. I recall one who was shocked to learn that most romance publishers have BDSM lines of books…and have had for twenty years or more. It had never occurred to her to even look for such a thing on a store’s website; she was under the vague impression that BDSM novels in particular and erotica in general were illegal in the U.S.
Obviously, not all fans would react the same way. But I do wonder if E.L. James garnered acclaim from some readers who dared not look online for what they wanted and who truly thought that the Fifty Shades series was the first erotica ever written by a woman. The first to do something tends to be forgiven for a lot of sins. The thousand-and-first? Not so much.
^ Another really good perspective on why FSoG is a thing.