"I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I."
Sylvia Plath (via hanging-teeth)
Allan G. Johnson (via sylviatietjens)
The abusive man’s problem with anger is almost the opposite of what is commonly believed. The reality is:
Your abusive partner doesn’t have a problem with HIS anger; he has a problem with YOUR anger.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you —as will happen to any abused woman from time to time —he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straightjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy."
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via queeringmisogyny)
This was so true for my first marriage, it got me all choked up.
“I find crying difficult. It takes a long time for me to go. And I won’t know what will send me. I’m quite sentimental. If my son tells me he loves me, that will make me cry. Mr. Holland’s Opus, unbelievably broke me. A random anomaly. Bambi would probably do me. Or Shrek. And yeah, I did go in Warrior as well. The relapse of Paddy, when I put him to bed and give him a kiss, I was like, ‘Yeah, I get that. I’ve been there.’”
i will apologize if i do/say shitty things when i’m down, but I will never apologize for the feeling itself. i aint about to feel bad for feeling bad. not sorry.
your feelings are valid and it’s OK to feel whatever you will. feelings are part of being human, don’t apologize for them.
Trying to learn to do this better. But too often still, I’m in the midst of Feeling things and then I feel ridiculous and kind of like I’m taking up too much space. I have very few friends that I actually confide in (love you bb <3), and I’ve kind of been trained most of my life not to rock the boat or speak my mind. And that you should always have a good attitude even if you feel shitty, so as not to burden others or drag them down. They’re hard blocks to overcome.